Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I'm just sittin' here watchin mollasses dry...



Disclaimer: I, in no means have tried to offend anyone who has a child with learning disabilities. At all, whatsoever.







My Tuesday:



"Zach, can you say B-A-L-L?"

"Zach, can you stack these blocks?"

"Zach, can you put these cubes in the cup?"



I'm watching my ' most-smartest-person-in-the-world-two-year-old' play innocently while "Angie" sits with a clipboard watching and, I love this word, assessing. Assessing my son. MY SON. But Zach is the smartest "baby" in the world.



And, this is when it all starts. This is where mama warrior steps in. Up until now I can say it has been easy. Really, I can. He has hit every milestone, mostly hitting them early. He wasn't just crawling, he was army crawling. And when he started walking, he was running. I mean, running! So when his pediatrician noticed there may be a speech delay, I was speech-LESS. I noticed he wasn't talking very much, but I always thought it was because he was a stay at home kid. I didn't see it as much of a problem. No, no, no. ( Amy, this is in our boys no, no, no) It was. So here she sat. Watching. Assessing. Recording. And here I sat. Doubting(myself, not Z). Questioning (again, myself). Stewing.



Angie: "Well, Mrs. Barringer. He only got 1 out of 7."

Me: "Well, he might not copy everything you do. But he does other things. Like, make light of situations when they get too heavy. Like wanting to console every baby he hears crying. Like, knowing just when to say byum, byum. LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE HE DOES!!!!"

(this is why he soared in the Social skills section)

Who wants a copy cat, anyway.



You find yourself backtracking, second quessing. Did I not speak to him enough? Did I not play with him enough? Maybe I wasn't vocal with him enough as an infant. I don't know. For all we know he could be laughing in his head " ha ha, mama. I'm tricking you. I can talk, I don't really want to just yet."



It's very hard to watch your son playing and making new friends with this lady, when really he is being "assessed" to see if he has a learning disability. What ever happened to kids talking when they were ready. Potty training when they were ready. Since when is it deemed a 'learning disability'? Were so quick to push them . Make them grow up faster. When a mother goes past her EDD, mind you that stands for ESTIMATED due date, that day Doc is ready to induce. Why? Does anyone remember that God designed this? When our babies are ready, for anything, they will tell us.

They insisted that he lacked the skills needed to develop his language. I insisted they were wrong. They tried to reassure me that this was very common, and that some babies are just 'slower.' This was all such a shock to me. I thought when they came out to do the assessment they would see that they were wrong. But, they were right, I guess. I'm not a specialist. But I am his mama. And, I want to do what is best for him.



So, after all that...We start next week with an infant specialist. It's free and I figure it can't hurt. As long as I don't see him being pushed too much, or traumatized by the situation. (I know, a little dramatic) What qualifies her for that title, I have no idea. Last I checked, I was also an infant specialist. I growed this baby up, didn't I?



But, this is where it begins. People passing judgement. Not getting invited to birthday parties. Not making the team. Getting a C on the report they put their heart into. And, God forbid, being made fun of. What will we do? We will want to step in, pick them up and protect them from anything that will hurt them. But we can't. This is all part of growing up, for them and us. One thing I will always promise Zach: I will help you find the path, but always let you walk down it.



I am eager to see what these classes bring for us. I know it will be a learning experience for myself, just as much as it will be for my 'baby'.



I love you Zach a boo.



"You are my baby, and I am your Mama"

1 comment:

mames said...

ooh, blogger deleted my first comment. bugger blogger. i just said he is going to be fine because you are a GREAT mama. and stupendously wonderful caring concerned Mama. and that is what our babies need.